February is considered a month of Love and many new and old intimate relationships will plan to have a swell time this season. Here are a few pointers of discussion one may need to consider in starting a new intimate love relationship.
A God-Ordained Purpose connection, Character and attraction are some three key factors in determining who we should choose to spend our lives with in an intimate committed relationship.
Often, we meet people we feel attracted to and that often becomes the primary metric by which people often choose to develop an intimate relationship. The bible teaches that Beauty is vain and charm is deceitful so we must be weary to make that our first priority in choosing. However, one must be sincere to admit that attraction is often a motivating factor that pushes us to pursue intimate relationships even though we are not necessarily to be driven by it.
On the other hand, some go one step further to look at Character. How well developed are their manners? How truly Christian are they? This factor becomes important especially to ensure the longevity of any relationship. Great Christian character is key in ensuring that the ideal core values of both parties are kept in the relationship.
For a man looking for a wife, the woman who fears the Lord should be praised [affirmed]. Also, a prudent and wise wife is from the Lord. An intelligent wise woman who is beautiful to you will not feel like a golden ring on a pig’s snout. A wise woman is one who can build and won’t tear it down. An emotionally distant & insensitive woman will become drudgery to you in a long-term relationship. A woman who is a brawler and nagger will make your home a war zone. A woman who cannot above contradictory situations honour and respect you as a response of obedience to God’s Word against contempt and disrespect will make it difficult for your home.
For a woman looking for a husband, how yielded is your man to the Lord and His Word? How presently yielded is he to spiritual and domestic authority? Does he respect the elderly? Any man called to lead a home must understand the sacrifice of submission to truly stand as an empathetic leader for his home. Without this, your man likely becomes an unrestrained autocratic leader without regard for accountability. Also, a desirable trait in a man is kindness, ie. How kind is he to you and others, his family. A generally kind man will likely be kind to you long-term. Another important key to look out for is the trait of faithfulness. Faithfulness is consistency, steadfastness and constancy with fidelity. Is he a man of his word? Or does he often give excuses? Does he respect your boundaries? Does he keep boundaries for himself despite the obvious temptations to the opposite sex almost all men carry? Also, what are his addictions? Alcohol, drugs, porn, etc? These will be thorns that will hamper the fruitfulness of joy in your marriage if they exist. You also want to know his self-commitment to do better and be better for himself morally, spiritually, physically, socially, educationally, skilfully, financially etc. A man committed to self- development for himself will be better for you as time lapses. He must have a drive to be better not lackadaisical.
Okay, read the bible for better wisdom… hahaha.
Finally, a God-ordained ordained purpose connection, the often overlooked factor is probably the most important. God-ordained purpose connections are really central to making commitments in relationships. When beauty fades, and character flaws are revealed because they will be there, what keeps a couple together on their God-given assignment is that without a shadow of doubt, they know they were brought together by God and have been commissioned by Him. God’s purpose and ordinance becomes a binding factor beyond what eyes see and challenges mount up. God is the third cord that makes their bond unbreakable. If God is not ordaining a relationship, it makes no wisdom to pursue it. As a rule of thumb, our lives must be lived to fulfil only God’s ordinations, for over there, failures are largely extinct when carried with the requisite execution of God’s Wisdom. And if we pursue a relationship with someone, are we living in God’s purpose? Are they living in God’s purpose? Do your purposes complement each other? They may not be the same, but one purpose as a mission can have another purpose as a sub-mission to drive God’s Vision. Do you get the drift? God’s ordinations cannot be overlooked.
In conclusion, we must in all surety hold God’s purpose and ordination at the base, and must vet character for our core values’ protection. We may feel attraction is a shallow metric however, you should definitely ensure you feel attracted to the person(s) of interest if you must be motivated to pursue a long-term relationship with them. Amen and cheers to fulfilling God’s purpose and the enjoyment of joy-filled relationships.