The goal of true love is the development of maturity & godliness. And maturity is the required development state to fully & consistently express genuine love. One sign we will observe from the end times is that the love of many will grow cold especially as wickedness & iniquity increases. This is a call to Christian believers to shine our lights of love brighter as the world grows in darkness. When we are able to do so, God deems us as overcomers inspite of the limitations & obstacles that were designed by the enemy to arrest our development into Christlikeness.
Jesus said:
Matthew 5:43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same 47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
Paul wrote:
1 Corinthians 13:8 Charity [Love] never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
Jesus teaches us to be perfect (mature) like our Father through the demonstration of love. This love is benevolence given in a decisive free choice by the offerer even with the risk of it being unrequited by the free choice of the receiver. Agape love is like laying of a buffet table with the beneficiaries free to select or opt out of available dainties.
However, the demonstration & reception of this quality of love has a general limitation in human expression though it is potentially & inherently limitless. First, it is because men live under the confines of time, space and available visible resource. Thus, our love can have off-days due to tiredness in a given time, inability to be available everywhere in a given space and unable to offer everything a receiver might desire due to allocated land (resources). Secondly, receivers of love are also confined by their ability inability to be everywhere, all the time to receive this love. That’s why Paul writes to say that this love is often assessed in a corporate capacity where limitations of time, & space can be greatly contracted:
Ephesians 3:17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye [all], being rooted and grounded in love, 18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth [vastness], and length [eternally timeless], and depth [unlimited resource], and height [spacious expanse]; 19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
Fundamentally, humans are created to hold God in the center of our hearts with pure perfect love, the deepest place, to be satisfied by that only. The love of the Father is the prime fundamental need of every human who will only be able to express other forms of love towards himself & others accurately. In this love, we are reminded that God demonstrated love even while we were rebellious sinners. This love draws us into a thoughtful consideration of what God has sacrificed & offered to be in relationship. This consideration results in reciprocation: “We love because He first loved us“. When we extensively consider how vastly He has forgiven us by this love, then we hold a basis for returning that love in unconditional devotion to Him. The competitors for this space are the love of money and the love of the world. When we love money, we will almost definitely despise God in our lives. When we love the world & especially the things in the world: lust & pride, the love of the Father often gets decommissioned in us.
Often secondly, humans have space for love & demotion towards one other human: a spouse (husband and wife). God created man all-in-one (male & female created He them). Thus, there’s almost always a predictable longing for a committed relationship with the opposite sex. The idea is that God created them to radiate His Image in fulness. The context for this type of relationship is a helper suitable (or aptly described in the Hebrew dialect as a beneficial adversary). Masculine & feminine commitments come with a well designed attractive polarity by God. The couple often feel, think and act differently. God designed them to be dependent on Him and then on each other in order that His prime Purpose can be achieved. The love in this relationship is designed to bring them into union with each other and to drive them to more Godlikeness in this created realm & to exercise dominion in ensuring God’s agenda on earth is consistently administered. When the fundamental of God’s love isn’t present, this love often becomes selfish, self-seeking & destructive for both partners. The man is required to provide leadership in this love by laying his life down for his woman.
Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church & gave himself for it. In the first book of the bible, Genesis, God creates man as alone (all-in-one), and sets out to make (fashion) him a help suitable to him. However, man has been carrying his help inside him. So God puts Adam to deep sleep (an anaesthesia of sorts) & removes a rib to form the woman, Eve. The key here is the man is put to death as Christ was put to death so that his wife and the church is born. The question is when was the last time you died to your own selfish interests to love your wife? When did you last say “I’m going to let go of what will preserve my interests so that my wife can breathe, live & thrive?”
We might not understand how women safely evolve into wives in practice but I ignorantly feel that the primary responsibility belongs to the man by leading through love & letting go of his own selfish interests. When he does that it gives space for wife-type attributes. Submission is often natural in a woman after her man learns how to die to his own interests, adopting God’s interests in demonstration of his love.
True masculinity is truly having interests yet dying to selfish interests & adopting God’s interests. This becomes a seed sown to germinate reverence & submission from the woman, who will rest in her feminine quality. Like Jesus said your interests are like a seed, unless it falls to the ground and dies, it abides alone.
So the key is the woman men desire is inside of them. She comes out in response to death to your selfish interests as you adopt God’s interests, a true demonstration of love. True love is shown while the other party isn’t yet where your desire is, but you still put a foot forward to deny yourself of what instantly gratifies you, & what serves your selfish interests. Your interests are multiplied in the place of death. So unlike popular narrative, we need men who can let go of their own desires to see their women happy. When you sow, trust me, you will reap. So when leading, ask her for her opinion. Find out what she truly desires too. Take her suggestions into consideration in view of God’s will. Don’t always control every situation, let her also have autonomy. Take time to listen to all her ‘crazy’ stories. Help her sort her thoughts & feelings too. Don’t invalidate expressions of how she feels, help bring clarity when needed or just listen. God gave her a powerful intuition to help your naïveté, listen to it too. Help out with household chores. Take her out, Give her gifts, surprise her, add spice to life generally while being as consistent a man God has designed you to be.
Often a committed union will often result in the continuation of the generation in children. God told us to be fruitful and multiply. The God designed situation for raising kids is within the boundary of a godly committed marriage. When mum & dad are good and aligned properly, this results in godly seed raised in a spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically healthy manner. God teaches parents to not provoke their children lest they become discouraged. Children are like blank canvases that learn from our expressions. Admonitions done in the reverence of God, home training, life skills adoption & great emotional regulation are a few qualities passed on in addition to providing the right protective ambience to raise the next generation of purposeful humans.
Love in the nations originate with love from God’s beloved individuals across families which further aggregates to a love filled community. At the helicopter view, a myriad of love-warm communities will become a nation saturated with God’s love and light illuminated. We will envisage a better society where kindness is culture, humility is clothing, selfishness is frowned upon, the interests of others are considered, evil is dispelled, and sincere truth is upheld. This is what love can and will deliver if we get it right at the foundation: the love of God shed abroad in our hearts right at the epicenter. And as I ponder my ways, the good and the bad, I see that without God at the center, I am completely purposeless and that the ensuing outcome without His Love in my heart will only result in continued depraved negativity. I must have Him and He must have me. Then and only then can I become the individual my family can depend on, my society thrives on, and the nations obtain illumination & inspiration.